again

Eh I'm tired. I want to stop trying..well I want to stop trying to try haha. It's too "hard." I don't know what to do. It's just really hard to overcome my fear. I'm waiting for a sign or a nudge, but without that it's really hard to initiate. I guess I can look at it like I should try first, but I'm too scared. I's tired. And disappointed. And just want to run away. What do I do? I realized yesterday, that I never really prayed about this. So I guess I'll start. I don't want to waste time. And end up hurting my emotions. But I don't want another again.