Messed up?

After talking to a friend last night, I realized I had to do something. Anything. I've just been waiting and hoping I'll be able to understand my feelings from the once a week interactions. Which is really retarded since more than not, nothing can possibly come out of just waiting. I have been trying to try that for a while now but I always chickened out. And I told myself last night to try harder since this kind of behavior is so typical of me. I "like" someone but never do anything about it so the guy probably doesn't even know I was ever interested in him. It's not that I think about the "what if" but I'm just more mad at myself for always being such a wuss. Cause that really is so unlike me. I'm loud when I'm with friends. I don't just sit there quietly waiting for you to come and talk to me.

So I decided to i/m him today. The thing is I don't have his screenname.. I got it off Facebook. And since I didn't get it from him directly, I was a bit iffy about it. Felt a bit of a creepy creep..but it's only cause I think I might like him. If it was a friend I would do it without any second thoughts. Now I told another friend about i/ming him. And this friend asked me if the guy I think I might like asked me where I got his screenname from. He did not. This is apparently a good thing. It is a good thing either cause 1. He is glad I got his screenname off of wherever I got it from. or 2. He hasn't looked into it so I haven't really made an impression on him and therefore he doesn't mind talking to me or he doesn't not like me. Anyway talking to him is not that interesting. Our conversation is very on and off..and slow. Like we're both distracted.

I was gonna go somewhere else with this but I can't seem to remember. I'd rather get my butt to bed rather than sit and try and remember. Good Night.