These are the days. Day 1.

Hello there. I haven't been writing this regularly in such a long time. I feel like I'm in some kind of rehab program. But I enjoy this time I everyday.

So I feel all creepy for some reason when I admit my feelings. So in a very non-creepy way..he's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. So I'm thinking to myself "Hey I think I like this fella..." but I still don't know if I am able to openly admit it. I'm a bit hesitant and iffy cause I've only been talking to him online. Once we are face to face I am quite the scaredy cat. If I am able to talk to him in person it will be in the bag. I want to know that I can have an actual conversation with him..in person.

Anyway, yesterday, I was preparing myself to not be disappointed if I didn't talk to him. All the times we talked on AIM I i/med him first ..only when I had a reason to. I want to know if he's talking to me just to be polite or because he WANTS to talk to me. Cause I think we went 2 days without talking a week ago and I was a bit disappointed. So I had no reason to talk to him yesterday so I was ready to wait it out. BUT he i/med me! I was pleasantly surprised. and happy :) Anyway our conversation ended short and I was exhausted so I decided to go to bed early. I mean at least I talked to him. I'd say it was at least half an hour that we didn't talked and I didn't know if I should say good night to him when I was getting ready to sign off. I didn't. And I was a bit sad. Then as I was praying I fell asleep..I'm sorry Lord forgive me. But I woke up a few minutes after and the first that popped into my head was "Oh shit! ______!" I don't know why.. I finished my prayer and went back to sleep. And it wasn't a good night for my dog either. She was up all night crying and thank goodness my brother was still up taking care of her. I woke up again around 2 from her crying and whimpering and I thought it was time to wake up. And the first thing I thought of was him. Again at 5. And again when I woke up forreal. So I might like him. Or will soon enough. I don't think about someone that much unless they're worth my while. Unless I care. Unless they're important.

He might worth my while. I might care about him. He just might be important.